Vati Qoutes (again)

V: "Dost thou know what fire reminds me of? Turkey."
S: "I'm not even going to ask..." 15 words

V: "Hast thou ever seen a banshee? Huh- uh. Me either." 10 words

MC: What are you doing?"
V: "Knotting ribbon."
MC: "Why?"
V: "To keep the squirrels away." 12 words

V: "Ducks have always loved me. It's because of my earlobes." 10 words

V: "Thou know somebody spontaneously combusted because of that, do not you? He used a nymph's tree as a bathroom."
S: "And then the lightning lord zapped him?"
V: "Don't be silly. There's no lightning lord."
S: "I see."
V: "No, it was the burlap queen who got him." 43 words (I think)

Vati's bedtime story, plus more quotes

V: "This one's old- I don't even remember who told it to me first. It's kind of sad, though."
(All nod for her to continue)
"There once was a girl named... Latari-anyu. She wwas the daughter of a prosperous family and tradition dictated thatshe was to become a lady of the court. But this was not the life she wanted. Her parents were kind and loving and agreed to let her become whatever she wanted.'I will live the life of a peasant,' Latari-anyu told her parents. 'For they are humble and kind and content with their positions.'
Her parents showed no objection to this, but insisted she stay with them until she found an aspect of peasant life she was particularly suited for. So Latari-anyu fashioned her hair in the braid of the peasants and set out to find her calling.
She tried serving in the guard, but the swords felt unbalanced in her hand. She tried work as a seamstress, but her stitches were uneven. She even tried the life of a swineherd, which she rather enjoyed, but she frightened the pigs, and even that option was taken from her. Eventually she found herself performing with a troupe of minstrels, returning to her parents' home each night because she was not suited for the life of a musician, either.
One day, when Latari-anyu returned from work, her parents had news. Latari-anyu was weary- her troupe had encountered resistance that day- but she listened patiently.
'Kahitu-nohar, a neighboring nobleman, is coming to visit,' they told her. 'He wished to have thine hand in marriage.'
Latari-anyu was disgusted, for Kahitu-nohar's reputation travelled before him. He was cruel and ruthless, and always got his way. But she was not concerned. 'I will live fully as a peasant,' she said, 'and Kahitu-nohar will never see me. Everything will be fine.'
So Latari-anyu's parents paid a peasant family to take her in, and she became a peasant in truth.
A few days into her exile, Latari-anyu was at the market to fetch a bolt of cloth when she met a peasant boy.He was very handsome, and smiled at her in a way that drove her heart wild. He introduced himself as Ohanu-sita.
Latari-anyu was instantly in love. This love blinded her to the truth- that the peasant boy was Kahitu-nohar, there to take her away.
Time passed. Latari-anyu became very attachedto her peasant boy, and in time told him the truth of her identity. He claimed to love her even more for it. They decided they wished to marry, and went to ask Latari-anyu's parents for permission.
'I have found what I am good at,' she told them. 'I am good at loving Ohanu-sita, and would like to wed him.'
Her parents saw through Kahitu-nohar's disguise, but did not wish to face his wrath by revealing him. Instead they simply denied their daughter's request. The young couple stormed out, tears streaming down Latari-anyu's face.
On the way back to her peasant home, Kahitu-nohar made a suggestion. He told Latari-anyu they could run away, and wed in secret. But he was but a lowly peasant, and had no money to pay a minister or support a wife. Couldn't she steal a few things from her house, to start them off?
Because she was tired and in love, Latari-anyu said yes. So the next night, she took some jewelry from her house, and soon the couple were happily married.
Latari-anyu and her peasant boy lived in wedded bliss for some time, and she was utterly happy. But she woke up one morning, and Kahitu-nohr was gone, along with the jewelry.
At first Latari-anyu was confused, but it didn't take her long to realize what had happened, and she was filled with rage.That he would take advantage of her like that was unthinkable! And now she found herself carrying his child!
Latari-anyu drifted from village to village, unable to return home for fear of her parents wrath. Life was hard, and she found herself hating Kahitu-nohar.
Then the time came for the birth of her child, and as Latari-anyu stared into the face of her gorgeous... daughter, she realized she had been right all along. She was good at loving. And she would love this child until the last.
Years passed. Latari-anyu's daughter grew up beautiful and kind like her mother. They built a simple life for themselves.
Then Latari-anyu's daughter came brightly in the door one night, Kahitu-nohar in tow. She spoke of their love for each other, and begged for her to consent to their marriage.
Latari-anyu would not make the same mistake as her parents. 'No,' she said firmly. 'This is thine father, and he is a wicked and deceitful man. Thou willn't relive my nightmres.'
Kahitu-nohar sneered. 'I should have known she was thine. Thy knowest too much, now thou both must die..'
With that, he drew his sword and slit both their throats.
Latari-anyu died content, satisfied that she had overcome the failure he had set her up for. His power did not hold her." 842 words

MC: "His name is X D C... X something. Don't call him Lord Paper Hamstrings." 14 words

H: "It may just be me, but... Wasn't he bigger yesterday?"
V: "Maybe. I'm gonna have trouble keeping him dressed." 18 words

More Vati Moments

V: "Hey, listen to that! There's an ECHO...Echo...echo..." 9 words

MC: "Why are you singing directional arrows?"
V: "It's highly entertaining!" (Hylian-tertaining) 9 words

V: "Shove that up your hat and chew it!" 8 words

V: (swaying and saying "swish")
MC: "Vati, what are you doing?"
V: "Shh. I'm practicing my tree calls. Swish! Shoosh! Cree! Cratunk! Chick, chick, chick!" 8 words

V: "That's better than a cleeok between the ears, I'd say."
MC: "What's a cleeok?"
X: (agrees)
V: "I'll explain when you're older." 18 words plus X's speech

V: "Ten... Eleven... Thirteen..."
MC: You skipped twelve."
"It's too lucky. Fourteen... Fifteen..." 11 words

X: (rattles something)
MC: "What did he say?"
V: After all this is over, he wants you to come meet his family and be his wife. Either that, or he is tired." 32 words plus X's speech

V: "Oh, I'll be my own guitar. (imitates strings being strummed, frowns.) Out of tune. Dang." 10 words

V: "His name is Kyr'rith-heaton. He's named after... well, okay, I made the name up. But I still think someone famous should have had that name."
S: "He's going to have an awful case of mistaken identity."
V: "Why's that?"
S: Nobody's going to call him Kyr'ra- whatever. It's impossible to pronounce. I like Jaspyr."
(Argument ensues over name. Suggestions are as follows: V- Kyr'rith-heaton S-Jaspyr MC- Jaspyr X- R D I L X H- K/J)
V: "We are calling him Kyr'rith-heaton. I am his mother and that is the name I gave him. The rest of you can just deal with it."
S: (mutters) "I'm still calling him Jaspyr." 82 words, plus argument

Ping Pong Joke- Revamped

"You ever here the one about the wealthy man and the orange feather quills?"
"Umm... No?"
Well, a day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy man was asked by his father, `My son, what would you like for your birthday?'

The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new abacus and similar things. However, his son had had a new abacus only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have an orange feather quill.'

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is an orange feather quill that you want, an orange feather quill you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present an orange feater quill.

The boy took the quill to his room and the next morning the orange feather quill was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The orange feather quill, however, was never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

`Father,' replied the son, `I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a dozen orange feather quills.'

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a dozen orange feather quills that you want, a dozen orange feather quills you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a dozen orange feather quills.

The boy took the quills to his room and the next morning, not a single quill remained. The father wondered where twelve orange feather quills might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The orange feather quills, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

`Father,' said the son to this, `I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a crate of orange feather quills.'

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A crate of orange feather quills?'

`A crate of orange feather quills,' the boy confirmed.

`I can't understand your fascination with orange feather quills,' said the father, `but if it is a crate of orange feather quills that you want, it is a crate of orange feather quills that you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a crate of orange feather quills.

The boy was delighted and took the crate to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the orange feather quills had all disappeared.

`Dear son,' said the father, `I must ask now, what do you do with all those orange feather quills?'

The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. `Please humour me, dear father.'

The crate of orange feather quills, however, was never seen again.

The next year, it was clear that the son would get a horse, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart from the obvious. So, one day before the son's 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday.

`Dearest father,' the son started, `I have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a storehouse full of orange feather quills.'

One of these years, his father thought, I should get to the bottom of this. However, he decided to humour his son's wish.

The next day, the son was given the address of a storehouse where all his new orange feather quills were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the storehouse rather than at home.

The following morning, the son stepped out of the storehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, apart from empty boxes, nothing was left inside the storehouse. No orange feather quills were left.

The following year, one day before the son's 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another storehouse of orange feather quills. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong.

`Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of orange feather quills if at all possible.'

It was possible.

The next day, the father took his son to the harbour and showed him a huge ship and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of orange feather quills in there.

`Father,' the son said, `You've made me very happy yet again.'

That night, the son spent on board the ship.

The next morning, not a single of the orange feather quills could be found, but the son was happy.

A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible accident and was taken to the healer.

His father visited the young man at the healer's. `My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?'

Weakly, the son sat up in bed. `Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one dozen orange feather quills.'

The father held his son's hand tightly. `Whatever you wish my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those orange feather quills.'

`Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the twelve orange feather quills.'

The father thought that was fair enough and the next day brought his son the twelve orange feather quills. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk.

`Son, I leave these orange feather quills with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those orange feather quills.'

The son nodded weakly.

The next day, less than surprisingly, no orange feather quills could be found in the son's room.

`Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those orange feather quills,' the father requested.

The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter.

`I-' the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth.

`I- I-'

Then he died."
"..."

1165 words!

Nonsense and yodelling- Vati's corner

The wind whistles through the trees
Asking a question: Who do you love?
Smile at the moon; she giggles back
Nothing is better than this.
La lay loo, sing and dance
The stars will kiss the sky.
Nap in the cradle of the treetop's arms,
Wake to resounding joy. 50 words

River rushes round and round,
Ring the rain's resounding sound.
Sing a song that's super sweet,
Sweep the one you want to meet.
Dance a jig, kiss a pig,
Make your partner wear a wig,
Eat a sweet and cloying fig,
Welcome to the world. 45 words

My sweethart sings to the dogwood trees,
Skip-la-rye in the evening breeze.
Dribbling sky, glistening ground,
Stew pot boiling pound by pound.
Drip drop oodle-oodle-oo
Plink plunk loodle-oodle-ai
Little laddy swings
As his little lady sings
Spin around in the rain. 47 words

Lilly, lilly, lilly on a wild cactus tree!
Get a load of me
Singing to the bees!
Many are enslaved at heart and few are truly free,
All the freemen sing along:
Oh... 33 words

Vati: "It's like Christmas all over again!"
MC: "What's Christmas?"
Vati: "Umm..." 9 words

(X rattles something)
MC: "What did he say?"
Vati: "Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful fingernails?"
MC: "What did he say, Vati?"
Vati: "He wants you to take an edya's bladder filled with wax and stuff it down my throat. 36 words plus X's speech

MC: "Why is it you can understand (English) but not speak it?"
(X rattles something)
MC: "What?"
Vati: "He says if he were to speak (English), your vocal chords would not be able to take it." 30 words, plus X's speech

(Rabbit dashes through the forest. Vati stares longingly after it.)
Vati: "Those were the good old days..." 6 words

MC: "Why are you always so angry, X?"
(X rattles something.)
Vati: "Who are you calling a stewpot, you lump of initialized meat maggot?" 26 words, plus X's speech

Vati: "His name is X V I L D C Q."
MC: "Ecks Vee... How do you spell that?"
Vati: "You don't, honey. It's initials. Like the Trumans. I suggest you just call him X. Or Lord Paper Hamstrings." 31 words

MC: "Are you aware that nothing you say makes sense?"
Vati: "Of course! It's good for your colon." 16 words

Vati: "We should start a travelling music group! I'll play the lyresichord!"
MC: "The what?"
Vati: "It's the harpsichord's portable brother. When's lunch?" 20 words

MC: "I didn't know you were going to have a baby!"
Vati: "It was supposed... to be a secret." (grunts in pain) "You know how to be a midwife?" 24 words

Total word count: 367

Yay plot bunnies!

Two late ideas from Aug 4: A friend contemplate's Lati's (Jesus') life as she travels to the tomb.
Lullabies (underdeveloped)
Aug 5: A boy and girl must travel to fulfill a prophecy about someone else- he needs help.

Today's post

Aug 4: Girl forced into faith finds it hard to believe and does not believe until pulled into a fantasy land which paralells the Bible.

More Ideas

Aug 1: None
Aug 2: Jesus' life, but a fantasy planet where magic is "the rule, not the exception" and leads people astray. Prologue to be Satan's descension.
Aug 3: Searching for love and agrees to serve under Jesus figure. sees how much he has to offer.